She said

i just want to build my up confidence
she said
there’s a hole the size of the universe inside me

i read about a book today
she said
"100 of the most successful, senior women in the country"
for a moment there i was excited
she said
excited about my future -
maybe i too could achieve something

i just want to build up my confidence
she said
there’s a hole the size of the universe inside me

i’d like to be able to say no
she said
and stop and i can’t do this anymore and this is not what i want
i don’t know why i struggle to stand up for myself
she said
but its easier to just smile and say okay -
i hate confrontation

i just want to build my up confidence
she said
there's a hole the size of the universe inside me

i wish i wasn’t so scared
she said
of every man walking past me in the street
rape nightmares haunt me
she said

i just want to build up my confidence
she said
there’s a hole the size of the universe inside me

 
Written by Zayani Bhatt on 07/01/15
© 2014 Zayani Bhatt

Author's Comments

The line about the 100 most successful senior women in the country refers to a project called 100leadingladies and you can find out more about it here: http://www.100leadingladies.com :)

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anguish, confidence, women, woman, fear, hope

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