No More Remoaning.

If you are a traitor,
I'll break it down for you,
There are many reasons
to hate the evil empire EU.

They'll take away our fish n chips
and replace it with their snails,
They'll find all the refugees from Kazakhstan
and place them in Wales.

If you love the British flag,
prepare to take a hit,
They'll take away our once proud union
and smear it with their shit,

If you love democracy,
listen to this farce,
They'll tear up all the votes we make
and rub them with their arse,

Our once proud army, bold and brass
would win battle after war,
The next policy of this evil empire,
is a rather tedious bore,

Rather than to shoot and kill,
which was really quite exciting,
We now make friends with our enemy,
with hands on knees felating.

You know how with the taps we use,
the red tap means hot water?
They'll swap the colours round for sure
and fill our pipes with mortar.

The English books we read in school
are the pride of our land,
They'll make us read them back to front
and rub our eyes with sand.

We currently drive on the left hand side,
It separates them from us,
They'll take away our steering wheels,
and change the colour of our bus.

Let's just take a while to sit and think
about our country leaving,
If we cross our fingers, close our eyes
and never stop believing,

There are many things that will surely happen
to make our country best,
Listen closely to Lord Farage,
and ignore the bloody rest,

The pound will shoot in value
and become its weight in gold,
The NHS will get its trillions,
Free anti-aging pills for the old.

Don't listen to all the traytors,
don't beleev a fing they say,
They hate there queen, there flag, there team,
Corbin, Linekar and May.

Remoaners are the worst of all,
We need to make it clear,
Listen to that boss from Spoons,
Ignore the Project Fear.

I don't care that the pound has dropped,
That families now scream and shout,
This will only happen for the next decade,
Then we'll kick the traytors out.

Rats are the first to leave a sinking ship,
They don't love this awesome place,
So what if they didn't want this mess,
I'd rather not lose face.

So listen up whilst I finish off,
Declaring to all non-believers,
The snowflakes panic about our future,
You're a bunch a bloody divas.

We survived two wars with our die hard spirit,
(Even though I wasn't there),
I'm going to ignore the bits about dying,
It sounded horrible to be fair.

So toughen up, stiff upper lip,
To each other our caps we'll doth,
Chests out, salute the queen,
And we'll show what we're made of.

I don't want to ever ever say,
I maybe wasn't right,
It's far too late, I'm far too proud,
I'm happy spouting shite.

Written by James Spencer on 29/09/19
© 2019 James Spencer

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Funny, Brexit, Political, Satire, Humour, Humor, Britain, Current

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